THE ANGER-O-METER

We've recently been catching up with the BBC documentary series "Mr V Mrs: Call the Mediator", which offers an insight into what goes on behind the closed doors of a mediation room. 

It's very interesting to see other mediators at work, especially when this is what we do on a daily basis. One of the most fascinating things about the show is how it reveals what happens when relationships go wrong and anger takes over. 

One of the seven degrees of anger is bitterness. 

The men and women featured in the show approach their bitterness from different angles. A recurring theme from the women was bitterness over the men not having pulled their weight during the marriage. The bitterness from the men seemed to stem from the view that the women were not at mediation to find a solution, but to continue to punish the men for their failures during the marriage.  

Tim Lott, writing for The Guardian (@timlottwriter) summed it up perfectly in a recent article:-

"People will act readily act selfishly, or, conversely, against their own interest in favour of punishment when they feel deeply wronged. Without a spirit of kindness and reconciliation, chaos and hatred ensues".

Anger triggers negative thinking and negative responses, but we have to learn how to use our anger for positive purposes, or seek help when the problem becomes too much to handle alone.

So where do you fall on The Anger-o-meter? Identifying where you are at, here and now, is the first step. Look out for tips on dealing with the negative aspects of anger in our Anger-o-meter series running all of this week.