Lessons in Gratitude and Generosity at Christmas time

Are your kids just so used to getting lots of gifts, and the biggest and best of everything, that anything less on Christmas morning would result in temper tantrums?

How many of us have experienced that culture of "greed" on Christmas morning with Amy complaining because Archie got more presents than she did?

The world is an increasingly materialistic, consumer oriented place at the best of times, and at Christmas, that just gets worse. So how do we teach gratitude and generosity to our kids, and stop them becoming greedy, ungrateful so and so's?

Gratitude

Teaching gratitude starts with being a great role model for your kids. Show them that gratitude is something you apply to all your relationships, be it with their Mother, their Father, friends, other family members or co-workers. Here are some ideas for teaching gratitude:-

• Show your kids you appreciate others for just who they are - not for what they have given you;
• Kids are like sponges - they will absorb everything they see you hear and do. Make a conscious effort not to complain in front of them - you'll be erasing negativity from your life as well as theirs;
• Find a time each day when everyone talks about something they feel thankful for. It could be round the dinner table, or when you're all getting ready for bed.

Generosity

It's time to start teaching your kids that generosity isn't about how much you spend on a person. It's about doing something for others who are less fortunate than you are. Here are some ideas for helping those less fortunate than you are this Christmas:-

• Get your kids to clear out some old toys they don't need or want anymore and donate them to a local charity;
• Why not volunteer as a family at a local shelter or food bank over the holidays?;
• Bake a batch of homemade cookies and take them to your local nursing home.

The old saying "it's better to give than to receive" is so true. Try applying it to your own Christmas this year, and see just how much better it makes you feel. 

Denise's Festive Musings: Lessons from Einstein

Recently, when I was completing my reading for the last CSIRO Human Research Ethics Committee meeting for the year, I came across a quote that speaks volumes.

“Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted”.  

Albert Einstein 

Albert Einstein was not only a brilliant theoretical physicist.  He also contributed greatly to the philosophy of science. The above quote resonates for me on many levels - not just the scientific.

At this time of supposed Joy and Good Will towards others, I couldn’t help but apply Einstein’s wisdom to the battlefield that is, too often, the context in which Family Dispute Resolution Practitioners work.

Even during mediation of parenting issues between separated couples, the bitter spectre of conflict over property, child support and spousal support too often rears its ugly head.

In the desperate clamour of parents to “get what’s fair”, their children’s most important but largely unquantifiable needs - a sense of security, unconditional love, nurturing, quality time with both parents, and the opportunity to achieve their potential - are too often lost. 

It is my belief that if even one parent in every parenting dispute were to truly prioritise their children’s needs over their own (often unrealistic) financial claims, the children would come out the other side of separation and divorce feeling better about themselves and would suffer fewer mental health issues, relationship difficulties and other social problems in adulthood. 

Einstein - a true visionary. 

Denise Britton

Principal Brisbane Mediations

Festive Family Movie Night: 5 films to watch with kids

Everyone has a film or two they like to watch in the run up to Christmas, and often it’s one you watched as a kid that stays with you for years after you first watched it. Christmas is a great time to introduce your kids to a few classic movies. And who knows? Maybe it’ll become a family tradition at your place?

Here’s our pick of the top five festive films to watch with kids. We’d love to hear about your favourites.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) – we might be showing our age here, but who doesn’t love The Muppets? And didn’t Dickens practically invent Christmas as so many of us know it these days? There’s jokes, singing, and Michael Caine. What’s not to like?

Miracle on 34^th Street (1947) – Is he really Santa Claus? We still think he is, every time we watch it. Make Miracle on 34^th Street one of your family favourites this year and every year.

Elf (2003)- Will Ferrell is simply spectacular as Elf, and there are just too many hilarious scenes in this movie to mention.  “The best way of spreading Christmas Cheer is singing loud for all to hear”. Heartwarming, hilarious and magical, Elf has all the characteristics you want in a family classic.

Home Alone (1990) – 26 years later, and although this turned into a franchise, the original is still the best one of the lot. Being left Home Alone sounds like every kid’s fantasy, but in this case it quickly turns into a nightmare…..

Fred Claus (2007)– A great little movie about Santa’s underachieving brother Fred, played by Vince Vaughan. It’s worth watching just to see how magical the North Pole scenes are, complete with elves and the “Naughty or Nice” list. And of course a happy ending.

Stop treating your staff like 5 year olds

We've been thinking a lot lately about the type of "boss" we'd like to be. Have you noticed that some bosses seem to completely forget what it's like to be an employee? And go around speaking to people like they are five years old?

Speak to someone that way enough, and you know what? They're going to feel like they are five year's old again, especially if you are also fond of telling them off in front of everyone else.

The secret to good relationships with staff? It's all about your delivery i.e. the way you get your message across.

Why not take 5 minutes over lunch today to think about it your approach to your employees. Are you transferring your stress or hurt to your interactions with them just because you're having a stressful day or a hectic week? Sometimes this process is so subconscious you don't even realise you are being mean/angry/insensitive. But believe us, your employees do, and its making them resent you. 

Instead of saying "We would never do A because of problems with B" (the "hey you silly employee you better not be ruining my business by doing A" approach), why not say "Actually from past experience we've found that doing C solves the problems with B which allows us to do A" (the "hey maybe you didn't realise we already had a solution for that" approach).

You'll find that switching up your attitude in this way will mean more pleasant interactions between you and your staff, and a happier work environment. 

Don't reprimand - re-educate and in the words of Plato - "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".

Our 2016 Advent Calendar: 25 Days of Good Deeds

People have different reasons for counting down the days to Christmas, be they religious, traditional, or otherwise (let’s face it, sometimes it's all about the chocolate treats), but here at BM we’ve decided to ditch the sugar this year and opt for a different type of advent calendar. We’re not having a treat every day when we open our calendar, we’re treating someone else. 

Follow us for the next 25 days as we attempt to do a good deed every day in the run up to Christmas. We’re not promising we’ll achieve our goal every day, but we’re going to give it a jolly good try! 

Why not join us and share your good deeds with us?