PEACE TALKS - What Yeronga State High School can teach us all about success.

In Brisbane five days ago the QSuper Showcase Award for Excellence in the Senior Years was awarded to the Yeronga State High School.

It was reported that "Yeronga State High School is going 'From the bottom to the top', turning poor perceptions and one of the state's lowest OP rates into one of Queensland's best with every OP eligible student getting an OP one to 15. Welfare and cultural support is helping boost academic results with community partnerships, a range of pathways and a special hub for seniors in a school where three-quarters of the 600-strong student population hail from more than 55 nations".

Most significantly, the school's Principal, when interviewed on 612 ABC this week, stated that he attributed the school's amazing turnaround to the pursuit of three principles which underpin everything done within the school community.

They are:

• Quality;
•  Harmony; and
• Sustainability

It occurred to me that these principles also summarise our philosophy at Brisbane Mediations. 

• We always aim to provide a quality service, with the best possible outcomes for our clients.
• We, by our very existence, promote harmony - in relationships, families and business.
• We want outcomes for our clients which will be sustainable and stand the test of time.    

Could these three principles - if applied by a majority of people in a range of settings and situations - make a significant positive difference to our society and our lifestyle?  We think so and issue the challenge to all to give it a try. Please let us know how you go.

 

Denise Britton 

Principal Brisbane Mediations

Mediation Matters-What is mediation all about?

Parties sometimes get confused as to what Mediation is and what we do.

To take the example of a couple with a family law dispute, we initially have a confidential intake with each party.This usually takes one hour and enables us to explain the process, develop some rapport with the party and gain some insight into his or her perspective of the dispute.

If one party approaches us then we will usually have an intake with that party and if we consider the matter suitable for mediation, will invite the other party to also participate in a confidential intake.

If both parties are happy to attend mediation then we will proceed to schedule a four hour mediation, usually but not always on a separate day.

We are neutral and independent.The way that I normally explain "independence" is that I have had no previous connection or association with either party and by "neutrality", that I am not on anyone's team.It is absolutely vital that the mediator retains this independence and neutrality throughout the mediation.

As mediator, I use my experience and skills developed over a long period to help the parties resolve their dispute without needing to go to court for an outcome.If successful then the parties will save substantial legal costs and the stress and delay arising from court proceedings.The parties also have a better chance of being able to communicate in the future if they can keep their dispute out of court.

The mediation usually goes for four hours, however if the parties feel they are making progress then they can extend the time.

Usually the mediation is conducted by a single mediator, however we recommend a co-mediation model in some circumstances.Some of our mediators come from a legal background and some from a social science background and each has particular skills and training which they can bring to the mediation.We also offer a child-inclusive model and this is an option that parties sometimes want to explore particularly with older children.

We are happy to explain all our processes in detail so that parties come to the table with a good understanding of what is involved and how we will conduct the mediation.

Our job as mediators is to help the parties reach a resolution.We are not "pretend judges" and it is not our role to make decisions for the parties.

If the parties have engaged lawyers then we welcome the involvement of the lawyers in the mediation.It is entirely a matter for the parties if they want their lawyers to be involved and we are happy either way.

The total cost for two intakes and a four hour mediation is $2310 including GST and this can be shared between the parties.

In future blogs, I will share more information about our processes.

I also invite you to look at our website www.brisbanemediations.com.au

Help in resolving your dispute is only a phone call(07 3839 7400) or email(resolve@brisbanemediations.com.au) away.

Mike Emerson

Mediation Matters-Importance of the Mediation intake.

The intake is possibly the most important part of a mediation and can often determine or contribute to the ultimate success of the mediation.

The intake is a time set aside for the mediator to get to know a party and that party's perspective of the dispute.

It provides an opportunity for  the mediator to explain the process and to try to get to know the background to the dispute and the underlying issues that may be impeding a resolution.

Most importantly, it is an opportunity for the mediator to develop a rapport with and gain the trust of the party.This rapport and trust is an investment in the outcome.When things get tough in the negotiation the same rapport and trust will assist the mediator to guide the parties to an outcome.  Once the parties have trust in the mediator, the chances of a successful outcome increase as they are more likely to value any guidance that the mediator offers.

It is important that both parties feel that the mediator is listening and that they have been heard.

At Brisbane Mediations, we try to organise the intakes on a separate day, prior to the mediation itself.This enables parties to go away and mull over what the mediator has said before the mediation occurs.It also enables them to become familiar and more comfortable with the process before the actual day of the mediation.

Sometimes, it is not possible to organise the intakes earlier than the mediation day, however we consider it preferable to do so.

Another advantage of an earlier intake is that it enables the mediator and the parties to determine if mediation is the most suitable process for those particular parties and that particular dispute.Making an assessment of whether parties have the capacity to mediate is another important aspect.

Sometimes parties may want their legal representative to attend the intake and while this should never be discouraged, I generally tell each party that although their legal representative is present, it is really the party's opportunity to tell their story and for us to get to know each other. I usually say that by the end of the intake, I hope that the party not only understands the process but knows me and what I do better and that I have a good understanding of the party's perspective. Of course, while not stifling the party, the lawyer can often add vital information that assists the mediator.

The intake is also a good opportunity to ascertain whether there have been previous attempts to resolve the dispute and how successful those attempts have been. A mediator well known to me makes it his business to ask each party and, if present their lawyers, to say why they think that the dispute has not settled to that point.

Parties need to understand that their discussion with the mediator in the intake is confidential unless one or more of several exceptions apply.  These should be carefully explained, so that the party can proceed with confidence that what they say to the mediator won't be divulged to the other party without their permission.

In summary, the intake is a most important tool for the mediator and should never be undervalued.

Cuts to Family Court-Impact on court delays.

In the lead up to the federal election, the coalition announced a planned $30m cut to Family Court processes in its final costings. According to the Financial Review of Friday 20 September 2013, the president of the Law council of Australia will write to the new Attorney-General George Brandis, QC to ask where the proposed cuts to the Family Court will come from. Rick O'Brien,chair of the Family Law Section of the Law Council was quoted as saying that the Family Court and the Federal Circuit court "are both already under-resourced" and it was taking too long for casesto go through the system. Mr O'Brien noted that the Federal Circuit Court,Family Court and Western Australian Family Court are struggling with workloads and delays are at "an unacceptable level". As Mediators, on a daily basis we face concerns of parties about delays in the court system and the impact of these delays on their lives. Court delays are a major reason why parties try to avoid the court system and look for a resolution which enables them to move forward with their lives.This will increasingly be the case if the already stretched courts are asked to deal with further pressure on their resources. the only clue given by the coalition to it's proposals was an indication that it proposed to "streamline Family Court processes". At this stage it is not clear what is intended by this inclusion in the coalition's costings.

Capital gains tax exemption for small business

Small business owners often don't understand the exemption from capital gains tax that applies if the business has been owned for 15 years.
An eligible small business owner is exempt from capital gains tax and can contribute part of the proceeds into superannuation without it being counted towards the normal annual contributions limits, under the small- business capital gains tax retirement exemption.
To qualify, a capital gain must flow from the sale of a small business where the owner had either net assets of less than $6 million or the business had a turnover of less than $2 million.
If the business was owned for 15 years and the owner is over 55 and is retiring, the business can be sold tax free. Furthermore a substantial part or all of the proceeds can be injected into superannuation and not count towards the normal contributions limits.
The source for this blog is The Financial Review 16-17 February 2013.
For further information, you should see your accountant.

World's Happiest Nation

Fascinating to note that Australia is the world's happiest nation according to the index applied by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

Australia has kept the top spot for the third straight year, leading Sweden and Canada.

The index measures each of 11 categories in 36 nations, giving equal weight to each category.

Criteria weighed include income, jobs , health, safety and housing.

The index also showed that Australians are more satisfied with their lives than the OECD average.

The results of the survey were released in May 2013.

Well done Australia !!!

PEACE TALKS: Syria - a challenge for the most skilled and conscientious mediator

What right thinking person would not be distressed and inclined to join the chorus to, "Do something" about the human crisis in Syria that has been unfolding over recent weeks on the world stage?

Do we understand what is really happening there?  Who are the disputing parties?  What is the true composition of their ranks?

What are their positions in the dispute (that is, what is the bottom line that they are seeking)?

What secrets or hidden agendas are driving the dispute?

What unresolved hurts and grief from the past are interfering with a resolution?

Are the members of the disputing groups cohesive in their wishes or are they being intimidated and manipulated by strong and malevolent forces within?

What are the parents of the murdered children and of the young soldiers compelled to use force against their own people saying?

Who has the skills to engage the parties and seek the answers to these questions in an effort to help these poor people rise above their differences and have a chance of living their lives without fear and aggression?

Does the spectre of a "big brother" force bring with it more or less likelihood of resolution?

Although the stakes are much higher, these questions have much in common with those which need to be asked about every interpersonal dispute.  At Brisbane Mediations we would contend that the more peaceful the resolution the better for all parties.  What is your view?

PEACE TALKS - Denise Britton

PEACE TALKS - What would Mum and Dad say if they knew you were fighting over their estate?

What would Mum and Dad say if they knew you were fighting over their hard earned property, super and other assets?

How often have we all heard that grief and loss bring out the best and the worst in people?  It really is true isn't it?  Sadly, when we lose significant people in our lives a  chain reaction of free flowing emotions tends to start and all sorts of unresolved issues from the past can surface, including old sibling rivalry - feelings about unfair treatment by parents, unfair advantages to our brothers and sisters, things that weren't said and should have been or were said and shouldn't have been.

When Mum and Dad are no longer around to keep the family on some sort of an even keel or to even give their version of events, there is the potential for these issues to get right out of hand - especially if, for one reason or another, Mum and Dad decided that their estate should not be divided equally.

There are indeed laws about sorting out perceived inequities in respect of who is left what, and the courts are there to help as a last resort.

As mediators skilled in dealing with all types of interpersonal disputes, though, we know that "blood is thicker than water" in most cases.  A discussion around a table under the guidance of a skilled mediator BEFORE the dispute escalates, has the best chance of ensuring the estate is not depleted through legal costs and of achieving a result everyone can live with and which allows siblings to continue on as a family - something every parent would want.

How would you feel if your kids ended up not talking to each other and trying to forget they were even related, just because you were prudent enough to have something to leave them? Most in those circumstances would rather spend it all before they went. 

Give our expert and sensitive mediators the opportunity to help you sort your estate issues in a way which allows you to save money, save face and save relationships!

PEACE TALKS 

PEACE TALKS- Egypt's extensive mediation efforts have failed.

US Deputy Secretary of State William Burns has left Cairo, having made no headway in finding a compromise between the army-installed government and supporters of deposed Islamist president Mohammed Morsi.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/world/mediation-has-failed-egypt-presidency/story-e6frfkui-1226693026975#ixzz2bLEqWMtW

For a mediation process to be successful, there needs to be a mix of essential ingredients:-

•  A skilled mediator who is seen by all parties to be unbiased
•  Willingness on all sides to make concessions and to compromise in the interests of a peaceful solution
• The capacity on the part of the mediator to facilitate expression by all parties of their underlying perspectives and needs, whilst also maintaining ultimate control over the process
•  Preparedness of each party to listen to the other parties
• An understanding by all that resolution is preferable to at least some of the potential options should the conflict continue

At Brisbane Mediations we wonder what was left out of the mix in respect of the Egyptian mediation process?

ADR Conference

Mediation Matters.

Each year the Queensland Law Society (QLS) convenes a conference on Alternative Dispute Resolution(ADR) for legal practitioners and other professionals.

The full day conference examines developments in Mediation,Arbitration and other alternatives to a court resolution both on a national and international level and provides an opportunity for mediators and arbitrators to network and exchange ideas with colleagues.

The conference discussion was led by a range of speakers drawn fom legal and mediation practice,academia and industry.The topics were both stimulating and informative.

I was asked to present on Surviving in a Mediation Practice, with my good friends and colleagues Tess Brook and Tom Stodulka.

The topic is of particular relevance to me as some years ago now, after several decades in legal practice, I made the decision along with my wife and psychologist Denise Britton to establish a stand alone mediation practice on Wickham Terrace.The decision to establish Brisbane Mediations was a brave one at the time, but with the assistance of our long term manager Joanne McDonald,we have been successful in establishing the practice, which we can proudly say is the only stand alone private shopfront mediation practice in Brisbane. Operating on a fulltime basis from our Dispute Resolution Centre, and together with our panel of mediators, we have assisted many hundreds if not thousands of couples to resolve their conflict without the expense or delay of court proceedings.

Both Denise and myself derive enormous pleasure from being able to assist couples and others to resolve their conflict and move on with their lives.

Whilst our mediation practice initially derived from our long years of professional practice in the matrimonial area, in my case as a lawyer and in Denise's case as a psychologist, our practice has spread well beyond matrimonial to the point where we assist people resolve all manner of conflict including in the workplace, industrial, school and general interpersonal environments.

It is always a pleasure to present to a group of mediators of varying experience to help explain some of the pitfalls they will confront and strategies for overcoming them in their practice.

Our mediation practice has been assisted greatly by the range of backgrounds and life experience not only of ourselves but of our panellists.

One of the interesting facets of mediation is that everything you experience and do in life and everyone you meet, or situation you encounter, helps to improve your skills and ability and develop your repertoire as mediators.

Both Denise and I are always learning and striving to improve our skills and days such as the QLS ADR day provide a great opportunity for this.

We congratulate the staff of QLS on another successful day.

We both look forward greatly to continuing to improve our skills and to help people resolve their conflict in whatever field of life they are involved.

Mike Emerson

Mediation matters- Court delays

Suppose you were having an argument with someone and each of you decided to refer the matter you were arguing about to someone else who might know the answer. What if the person you  approached to make the decision said he or she had no time to think about the matter for a year or even longer. Would you still persist or try to find an easier way to get an outcome?

What if you both decided to persist and the person you wanted to consult told you that even when he or she had time to think about the matter you had raised, it would take another year or so before they could advise you of the decision.

What if the matter in dispute was important to you and you had a lot riding on the decision and a lot of emotion invested in the outcome.

Understandably, you would be frustrated and upset and look for an easier way to resolve your argument.

Sadly this is an everyday occurrence for separating couples in family law disputes.

What could be more important to parties than what happens to their children or how their property is divided on separation. Parties usually have much hanging on the outcome of these decisions.

Unless they are fortunate enough to be part of the group that resolves these matters amicably, then they often may feel that they have no alternative than to refer their argument or dispute to the family courts for a decision.

Sadly these parties are faced with long delays in having their argument heard and often even when a court is available to give a decision, there are often significant delays in the court handing down or making it's decision.

These delays mean the parties have to put their lives on hold and cannot move on.

The delays also increase the costs which parties must pay in having their argument resolved.

In later blogs, we will explain why mediation offers an alternative to these delays and enables parties to resolve their disputes without the delays and cost associated with going to court.

We will explain how mediation can be convened at anytime to suit the parties, avoiding the delays that otherwise occur and the costs that court involves.

Find out more about mediation by visiting our website www.brisbanemediations.com.au

PEACE TALKS - #Wimbledon and #Le Tour de France achievements over the weekend were inspirational.

What a great Wimbledon win for the unassuming Marion Bartoli from France as she took out the Women's trophy against an equally modest Sabine Lisicki from Germany over the weekend.

The follow-up clash last night between Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic was riveting, with Murray delighting Brits all over the world as he became the first British Wimbledon champ in 77 years.  Murray's victory was even sweeter for being against arch rival, Djokovic, although both men obviously have the greatest respect for the other.

At the same time as these two gutsy blokes were centrecourt at Wimbledon, the iron men of cycling were agonizingly wending their way onward and upward through the Pyrenees in their herculean struggle to be heralded as the best in the world.  We are right behind our Aussie boys.

Most of us cannot hope to approach the amazing achievements of these elite athletes, but we can learn a lot from them about persistence, resilience, strength of character and graciousness when pipped at the post or on the other side of the net.  These positive human qualities are all applauded by Brisbane Mediations.

20 Reasons To Choose Us For Your Mediation – the ultimate being No. 20

20 Reasons To Choose Brisbane Mediations – the ultimate being No. 20

1.     All our Mediators are highly qualified and experienced 

2.     You choose the mediator you want

3.     Faster solutions

4.     Cheaper than litigation

5.     You retain control

6.     Nobody decides for you

7.     Less destructive to relationships

8.     Less formal than Court

9.     Workable with or without lawyers

10.  Confidential to the extent allowed by law

11.  Can be terminated or suspended at any time

12.  Can be reconvened at any time

13.  More or less interactive - either "around the table" or "shuttle" (separate rooms)

14.  One or more mediators as required

15.  Can include expert opinion if agreed

16.  Mediator's skills matched to issues at hand and complexity of dispute

17.  Suitable in a wide range of disputes contexts

18.  Promotes ongoing cooperation between parties

19.  Any dispute, any time with any mediator you choose

20.  Assists you to leave the past in the past and move on sooner and in better shape

How 'bout that! Find out how Gen Y spend online.

We explore the latest findings from research into the online behaviour of Gen Y, and it isn’t what you’d expect.

Thanks to extensive research conducted by Flywheel, an innovative IT team based in London, we can finally know for sure which brands and retail experiences Gen Y LOVES and of course HATES.

According to Flywheel, “Gen Y feels very differently about the way they buy than previous generations.” Online spending of Gen Y, or people aged 18-33 years, by far exceeds that of all other generations, but they are also the most brand-conscious and therefore selective when it comes to purchasing.

Results found that 95% of the total 639 Gen Y participants LOVE the Amazon brand, way ahead of runner up Apple at 51%. Clocking in at No.1 for retail, travel was 69% purchased online as opposed to offline in 2012, and entertainment was second with an even 50/50 split between online and offline, showing an increase of 15% from the previous year. The most surprising figure of all according to Flywheel, was the amount of Gen Y’s buying their clothes on line at 27%.

So what does this mean for the average business? EASE. Reaching Gen Y is all about making it easy for the consumer, by being in the right place at the right time, carefully aligning your 4 Ps (price, product, promotion, place) for the easiest purchase possible, and taking your business online wherever possible.

You can see all the Flywheel findings here. 

Also see how Brisbane Mediations is finding its way to Gen Y through Facebook and Twitter.

Are you getting the full 8 hours?

Despite popular belief that productivity is in the amount of hours we work, Huffington Post founder Arriana Huffington argues that while we’re bragging about how little sleep we got the night before, we have actually decreased our productivity by not getting the full 8 hours.

In The Harvard Business Review, Huffington discusses the direct impact sleep deprivation has on facial cues, employee safety, health and well-being, and most interestingly, can stimulate unethical behaviour in the workplace, an effect we see all too often in workplace mediation cases. This behaviour in turn can lead to a number of workplace conflict issues and a decrease in productivity.

While Huffington suggests the eventual implementation of ‘nap rooms,’ rooms especially assigned for a midday snooze, in the meantime large and small businesses can work on the health and wellbeing of employees by encouraging yoga, meditation, and stressing the importance of sleep.

We could all take a leaf out of our US counterpart’s books and make a stand for a healthier generation of workers and productivity, and according to Huffington “change the workplace culture so that what's stigmatized is not napping but walking around drained and exhausted.”

If you have encountered what you believe to be unethical behaviour in the workplace or believe your workplace is unfairly promoting an unhealthy lifestyle, contact Brisbane Mediations for a fast and inexpensive solution. 

By Katie Prowd

(07) 3839 7400

resolve@brisbanemediations.com.au

   

http://www.womensagenda.com.au/talking-about/world-of-women/awaken-your-career-success-arianna-huffington-on-the-need-for-sleep/201306192351

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/06/getting_naps_ahead_of_the_comp.html?nomobile=1

De Facto Relationships and Separate Houses

Courts are often called on to declare whether parties are in a de facto relationship for purposes of   determining entitlement to property settlement under the Family Law Act.

In deciding whether to make such a declaration, the court has to consider a range of criteria set out in the Family Law Act including, the duration of the relationship;the nature and extent of their common residence;whether a sexual relationship exists; the degree of financial dependence or interdependence,and any arrangements for financial support between them; the ownership, use and acquisition of their property; the degree of mutual commitment to a shared life;the care and support of children and the reputation and public aspects of their relationship.

The court has said that the definition of de facto relationship is a very broad one.

An interesting decision on the issue was a recent one of Kazama & Britton handed down on 15 January 2013, where Watts J held that the parties were in a de facto relationship, despite the fact that they maintained separate residences throughout their relationship.His Honour held that although they maintained separate residences, they spent significant time together, mainly at the male's residence and that he visited the female's home from time to time.

The fact that the parties maintained separate residences did not preclude the court finding that they were "living together as a couple on a genuine domestic basis".

The case is also of interest because the male party had made representations to the Department of Immigration that the parties were in a de facto relationship and in the circumstances, the court declined to accept evidence from him that contradicted those representations.

Flexibility in Mediation

The American Bar association has recognised "flexibility" as one of the factors defining high quality mediation practice.

The finding is one of the factors identified by the Association in it's published Final Report-Task Force on Improving Mediation Quality.

While it is good to have some recognizable steps or standardisation in mediation process, the mediator needs to be ever mindful of the range of approaches and tools in his or her skillset and try to identify what may or may not work in a particular dispute.

An example of this arose in an elder law mediation we undertook last week where an 80 plus lady was involved in a family dispute with allegations that one of her children had taken advantage of her to enrich himself.The parties were embroiled in District Court litigation over a jointly owned property of reasonably modest value and the prospect that if not resolved, the dispute would further lessen the net value of the property in dispute and accentuate the divisions in what was already a highly divided family.

During the shuttle discussions it became apparent that the son was prepared to compromise his claim  for compensation for work allegedly undertaken on the property, however his mother had reached a hard nosed position and was intent on taking all,despite the fact that this would involve a costly and messy trial with the possibility of no real winner.

Rather than follow the customary steps, a heavy emphasis and lots of time was spent in listening to and validating elderly mum's concerns and developing a rapport which proved invaluable in gently guiding her to what was clearly a sensible and commonsense solution of  a  complicated fact situation with various allegations and counter allegations many of which would be difficult to prove.

Whilst the path of the process was not clearly apparent when we set out and evolved as we moved through the dispute, I as the mediator, have no doubt that the armchair chat type approach and heavy investment in rapport and trust was the right one for this dispute and resulted in an outcome where the parties not only saved significant costs, but were able to take up the threads of communication in a manner suggesting at least some prospect however small, of family healing so that the elderly mother could possibly have some chance of finding harmony and peace in her twilight years.

PEACE TALKS - Life is for Living, not for Litigating

Are you allowing conflict to dominate your life?

When the wheels fall off our relationships, of course we all need time to adjust and to grieve what might have been as well as the loss of the best aspects of what was.

However, as our parents always told us when we were kids (and most of us didn't have a clue what they meant until we were of 'more mature years'), "Life's very short".

A popular fridge magnet in keeping with this theme states, "Life's too short for bad wine".  How true!

In Queensland we are lucky to live in one of the World's idyllic locations - geographically, socially, culturally and politically - no matter what our beliefs or political bent. 

After separation, the best favour you can do yourself and your children (if you are lucky enough to have them) is to find a timely and user friendly way to resolve issues with your ex so that you can move closer to enjoying the lifestyle you all deserve.

Don't waste a second more than you have to on pointless and expensive escalation of conflict.  Try mediation - with or without your lawyer present.  There is so much to experience in life and no time to lose.

PEACE TALKS - Mental Health issues and Family Separation

Family Law professionals often hear that one or both parents in a separated family are struggling with some sort of mental illness.

Family Report Writers, Psychologists and Psychiatrists  are expected to give opinions as to the likely impact of mental health issues on parenting capacity.

Family Dispute Resolution Practitioners may be faced with one parent's claims that the other presents a risk to the children and the retort is likely to not only be contradictory but to also point a finger towards the first parent's mental health.

Judicial officers often have the unenviable task of making decisions in the best interests of children when the mental health of Family Law litigants is in dispute.

Some signposts to consider in navigating these issues are:

• What is the medical / psychiatric history of both parties?
• What is the evidence, not just of any diagnoses, but also of  behaviours considered inconsistent with "good enough parenting"?
• When did the problem first emerge?
• Was the "breakdown" first noted at the time of separation (a time of high stress often associated with aberrant and "one-off" behaviours)?
• What evidence is there of concerning symptoms since separation?
• What actions has the alleged sufferer  taken to ameliorate symptoms and prevent relapse?
• To what extent was the alleged sufferer entrusted with care of children prior to separation?
• What has changed since separation?
• What is the range of possible factors motivating parties to express such concerns?

Children’s Adjustment to Repartnering of Parents

When separated parents re-partner, their children react in a range of ways- some healthy and others destructive.

Each child’s unique grief reaction and adjustment to their parent’s separation should be considered before introducing them to even the idea of new partners.

After separation, it is most important to maintain open communication between children and parents. Whilst being as honest as possible with them, however, parents should not expect their children to instantly applaud or even accept a decision to re-partner, especially if the other parent sees the new partner as responsible for the end of the parents’ relationship. Similarly, children should not be expected to immediately treat a parent’s new partner as a parental figure.

If expected to cope with such a major change prematurely, there is a risk that children will recoil from or even refuse a relationship with the re-partnering parent and that they will align themselves-sometimes exclusively- with the other parent.

The good news is that given time and sensitive support, most children adapt to new parenting situations, including quite complex blended families in more than one household. The key to success is to introduce such changes at the child’s pace, with support, and with sensitivity.

As children are treated with respect by new partners, trust can grow and relationships independent of either parent will hopefully develop. This process cannot be forced and relies on the maturity and patience of the re-parenting parent, step-parent and, of course the other parent.  

Estate Mediations

Mediation Matters

Today I am at "Round the Table with Mike" which is a free service for people to call in and chat with a mediator about the process generally or to discuss any particular issues.

Round the Table with Mike takes place on the first and third Wednesdays of each month between 4pm and 6pm at the Brisbane Mediations Dispute Resolution Centre.

Patrick Wedge, one of our mediators has called in for a chat. Patrick was in a past life, the Deputy Public Trustee of Queensland and so, as one would expect, has considerable experience in Estate Mediation.

As well as being on our panel, Patrick conducts his own Mediation practice.

I asked Patrick for his opinion as to the cause of estate disputes and his reply was as follows:

" One of the principal reasons for disputes in deceased estates is that people's expectations have not been met. A person may have expected to receive a greater share in an estate or may have been left out completely. Where there is ill feeling with the other beneficiaries in settling the issue, a dispute arises".

I then said to Patrick: "At what stage should people seek to mediate?  Should they mediate as soon as the dispute arises or should they wait until some formal court process is initiated?

 Patrick replied:

"The sooner the parties involved have the opportunity to discuss the issues, the better off they will be emotionally and a solution can be negotiated at mediation".

I once heard estate litigation described as "Family Law from the Grave", and certainly estate disputes can often give rise to the same high level of emotions as Family Law. Mediation with a competent mediator such as Patrick, offers the opportunity for resolving the issues without the high costs and delay of litigation. If handled sensitively, mediation also offers the opportunity to repair the relationship between the disputing parties.

The important thing is to seek advice before everyone becomes too embroiled in the dispute.

Round the Table with Mike

Mediation Matters

Round the Table with Mike will be held again tomorrow 3 April 2013 at the Brisbane Mediations Dispute Resolution Centre, level 8, 225 Wickham Terrace Brisbane from 4pm to 6pm.

Round the Table with Mike provides an opportunity for individuals to meet and talk with a mediator about any aspect of mediation without any  charge or obligation.

Round the Table with Mike takes place on the first and third Wednesdays of each month.

The opportunity exists to meet with a mediator privately or as part of a group to learn more about the mediation process and the advantages of mediation.

More and more parties are learning about the benefits of mediation particularly in avoiding the cost and stress of litigation and the inevitable delays that are part of the court process.

Members of the public are encouraged to drop in anytime between 4pm and 6pm on Wednesday to chat informally with one of our mediators.

While there is no need to book, parties are encouraged to call our manager Joanne McDonald on 3839 7400 to notify of intention to come and to have any preliminary issues clarified.

Brisbane Mediations has over 30 panel members who are able to convene a mediation at short notice to resolve conflict in any field.

For more information we encourage you to look at our website  http://www.brisbanemediations.com.au

We look forward to answering your questions and assisting you.

Mediation Matters

Keeping Up To Speed

As a mediator it is important to keep up to speed with developments in fields in which you conduct mediations.

Many, or dare I say most of my mediations are within the area of relationships and for that reason it is important to keep up with developments and trends in the area of Family Law where I also practise as a consultant.

I find that one of the best ways to do this is to undertake presentations for groups of lawyers in areas and topics of special interest.Doing a presentation involves a number of tasks and skills one of which is to research recent cases to ensure that the presentation is up to date and relevant.

Over the past month I have undertaken a number of presentations to lawyers including the following:

i) A presentation on Advocacy in the Family Law jurisdiction for the Ipswich District Law Association;

ii) One for LegalWise on Running a Successful Legal Practice;

iii) One for Thomson Reuters on Mediation and Negotiation for Lawyers.

All of these presentations were well attended and gave me an opportunity to network and converse with lawyers and to hone my skills.

I enjoy presenting to lawyers and appreciate invitations to present when they do come.

I was also pleased to participate as a guest panellist for the Queensland Chapter of the Institute of Arbitrators and Mediators(IAMA) at it's most recent monthly event and this provided a very worthwhile opportunity to meet and exchange ideas with fellow mediators who confront the same challenges and issues on a daily basis.

Attendance at the Thomson Reuters and LegalWise seminars also gave me the opportunity to hear from other speakers in areas of interest including Employment Law, Discrimination and Ethics.

These days it is simply not enough to hang up your shingle.Changes in the law and developments in mediation are constantly occurring and it is vitally important to keep abreast of these changes if you are committed to assisting parties resolve their disputes outside the court process with it's everpresent costs and delays.

Book your April mediations now

PEACE TALKS

Easter is coming and mediation services will be closed for several days from Good Friday, 29 March.

Are you in dispute over separation issues - parenting or property - or do you want to sort out workplace or estate conflict?

We are always happy to facilitate resolution of disputes in a timely and cost effective way.  Let us show you how to draw a line in the sand so that you can get on with enjoying life in this wonderful country of ours.

Why delay?  Joanne would like to book your intake session or mediation.

Mediate and say GOODBYE to bitterness and conflict and HELLO to a new start! 

PEACE TALKS - Easter. What's it all about?

It's hard to believe that Easter's almost upon us when we have only just mastered writing 2013!

For so many Brisbane families Easter is a great time to hit the road, grab a wave, pitch a tent, savour the last of the warm weather and kiss summer goodbye.

For others - including those who have recently separated - there is the potential for this to be a time of sadness as past holiday fun is recalled, problems arise about finances and impossible issues have to be resolved such as, "Who's having the kids?"

Whether Easter for your family is about bunnies, chickens or even bilbies delivering impossibly large loads of chocolate eggs or about the Christian message of new life, it is a great opportunity for parents to give their children a message of unconditional love, generosity and hope.

What better way than through the example of reasonable communication and mutual trust?

Happy Easter from Brisbane Mediations!

Mediation Matters

Last week I travelled to "Woodlands" Marberg to address the Ipswich District Law Association.

I had been invited to present at the regular February seminar of the Association.

My topic was "Advocacy in the Family Law  Jurisdiction".

I do regular presentations to groups of lawyers and particularly enjoyed this one.

The seminar was very well organised and involved about 45 solicitors and barristers practising in the Ipswich area all of whom were enthusiastic and interested participants.

Although my topic related particularly to court advocacy, it was also relevant to mediation and negotiation generally.

I empathised the importance of preparation, civility and courtesy, as well of course as knowledge, in obtaining the best result for clients whether in court or at mediation.

I also emphasised the importance of having a settlement focus and endeavouring to get the client an outcome without the stress and costs associated with protracted litigation.

Delay is increasingly a part of the court scene and can unfortunately have devastating consequences for clients, as they become bogged down in the system and are unable to get on with their lives.

I felt the Ipswich practitioners were responsive to my remarks, indicating a commitment to achieving a reasonable outcome for their clients at the earliest possible stage.

It has always been my view that the majority of practitioners in the Family Law jurisdiction in Brisbane and surrounds are settlement focused.This is particularly important in cases involving children where parties have to co-parent after the court process ends and where a lot of damage can be done to both children and relationships if practitioners don't encourage a child-focused approach.

I was accompanied on my trip to Marberg by Aishwarya Singh, a young solicitor who has recently taken over my legal practice Emerson Family Law.Aishwarya greatly enjoyed the opportunity to meet the Ipswich legal practicioners and appreciated what was very much a pleasant experience.

I will remain a consultant to Emerson Family Law and continue to service clients, however by purchasing my practice, Aishwarya has given me the opportunity and flexibility to prioritise my mediations and help parties achieve an outcome in this manner, a process that gives me great satisfaction.

The Ipswich lawyers had organised a full and very interesting program but unfortunately Aishwarya and myself had other pressing commitments and could not stay for the full day.

I commend the Association for organising such a successful event and greatly appreciated the opportunity to attend and present.

The association is clearly a very active and energetic one.

Mike Emerson

Mediation Matters

One of the advantages of mediation is that it provides a means for disputing parties to resolve their conflict without the prohibitive costs of litigation.

While access to Court is seen as a fundamental right of citizens, the costs of accessing justice are such that few can afford it.  The rich understandably can and at the other end of the scale legally aided parties can obtain representation, but for the vast majority in between legal costs are a reality that quite often denies them access to the hearing they seek.

An aspect of legal costs that adds to the overall burden are Court fees themselves, i.e. the fees Courts charge quite apart from legal costs paid to Lawyers.  Court fees in respect of the Federal Courts were increased from July 2012 and again from January 2013.

Clearly the Government is signalling that whenever possible it wants parties to seek to resolve their dispute outside the Court system.

Mediation offers many other advantages but one of it's most attractive features is the saving in Legal costs and Court fees if the parties are able to resolve their dispute.

While many would see anything that denies people access to Court as denial of a fundamental right the reality is that people cannot afford Legal costs and mediation must seek to fill the gap.

Why use Mediation

People often ask why they would consider using mediation to resolve conflict.The reasons are many and varied but generally include the following:

•It offers the opportunity for faster solutions;
•It is cheaper than litigation;
•You retain control rather than have others make decisions for you;
•It is less destructive of relationships;
•It is more informal than the court process;
•Parties can participate with or without their lawyers;
•It is confidential to the extent allowed by law;
•The process can be terminated or suspended at any time.

The point about being less destructive is particularly important where parties have to engage in an ongoing business relationship or separated parties have an ongoing responsibility to parent children.

Mike Emerson Co-principal Brisbane Mediations