2015 has started with a bang at Brisbane Mediations

Like the fireworks most of us observed in person or electronically at midnight on the 1st of January, 2015 has started with a bang at Brisbane Mediations.


We have taken time out to look at what we did well in 2014 and what we may be able to improve or add to our services in 2015.  We're back on deck energised and ready to listen.


Judging by the people who have already rung Krystina or come through our door for intake discussions this week, at least some problem situations have not magically disappeared over the Christmas holiday period.


This year, as always, we intend to deliver non-judgmental, supportive and skilled conflict management to our clients.   


We must of course remain neutral and not "take sides" or lecture parties about what we believe is the best way to resolve their disputes.  We do, however, challenge and assist with reality testing of desired outcomes, helping our clients to realise that just as there are at least two sides to every story, there are at least two perspectives to every dispute.  The old saying, "It takes two to tango" could be modified to, "It takes at least two to create conflict".


Whether your dispute is the result of a relationship separation, entrenched tensions between extended family members, workplace disagreements or conflict over an estate you think has been unfairly apportioned, the Brisbane Mediations team is trained and equipped to assist.


It is our role to guide people in dispute to a resolution they can live with and that allows them to move on with their lives - if possible, without harbouring resentment. The team at Brisbane Mediations derive pleasure from seeing our clients relieved of the burden of emotionally draining and often financially expensive disputes. We've all seen enough of those in the Court system.


Life is short.  Let's all make the most of it.  At Brisbane Mediations we like to say, Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.  Just because you've had bad luck with someone significant in your world, you don't have to live the rest of your life with conflict, stress and regret.  We aim to help our clients chalk it up to experience, let go of the bitterness and move on.


We know that the people who come to see us are usually hurting and feeling betrayed. Those feelings take time to heal, but we would love to start you off in a more positive direction with an agreement that, no matter how hard won,  all parties can at least tolerate. Over time, the conflict can become a blip on the horizon.


Come in and see us and make 2015 your best year yet!

It's NOT "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" for some

It's NOT "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" for some.

While most of us are caught up in last minute gift shopping and wrapping, planning food for Christmas Day and packing for time away at the beach or other haunts, others are doing it tough.


Some have been given notice that their jobs will not be continuing in the new year, some are feeling dread at the prospect of unimpeded time "relaxing" with a partner they scarcely have time to chat to most of the year and yet others are dealing with recent losses or reliving past ones.


At Brisbane Mediations, we know that all is not always as it seems in people's lives. In keeping with the generous spirit of Christmas, we should all spare a moment to check on the people next door, ring the relative who lives alone and has not been in touch for a while, reach out to friends and above all else appreciate and hug our loved ones.


We hope all our followers have a wonderful, safe and restorative Christmas and New Year and that you share your good things. If you are one of those who is struggling, hang in there.  In dark times, Christmas is like that moment just before the dawn.  If you see it out, a fresh new year will make things look very different and, with the right support, you can start making the changes needed in your life.


Merry Christmas!


Denise, Mike, Krystina, Joanne and the Mediation Team

PEACE TALKS: Syria - a challenge for the most skilled and conscientious mediator

What right thinking person would not be distressed and inclined to join the chorus to, "Do something" about the human crisis in Syria that has been unfolding over recent weeks on the world stage?

Do we understand what is really happening there?  Who are the disputing parties?  What is the true composition of their ranks?

What are their positions in the dispute (that is, what is the bottom line that they are seeking)?

What secrets or hidden agendas are driving the dispute?

What unresolved hurts and grief from the past are interfering with a resolution?

Are the members of the disputing groups cohesive in their wishes or are they being intimidated and manipulated by strong and malevolent forces within?

What are the parents of the murdered children and of the young soldiers compelled to use force against their own people saying?

Who has the skills to engage the parties and seek the answers to these questions in an effort to help these poor people rise above their differences and have a chance of living their lives without fear and aggression?

Does the spectre of a "big brother" force bring with it more or less likelihood of resolution?

Although the stakes are much higher, these questions have much in common with those which need to be asked about every interpersonal dispute.  At Brisbane Mediations we would contend that the more peaceful the resolution the better for all parties.  What is your view?

PEACE TALKS - Denise Britton

PEACE TALKS- Egypt's extensive mediation efforts have failed.

US Deputy Secretary of State William Burns has left Cairo, having made no headway in finding a compromise between the army-installed government and supporters of deposed Islamist president Mohammed Morsi.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/world/mediation-has-failed-egypt-presidency/story-e6frfkui-1226693026975#ixzz2bLEqWMtW

For a mediation process to be successful, there needs to be a mix of essential ingredients:-

•  A skilled mediator who is seen by all parties to be unbiased
•  Willingness on all sides to make concessions and to compromise in the interests of a peaceful solution
• The capacity on the part of the mediator to facilitate expression by all parties of their underlying perspectives and needs, whilst also maintaining ultimate control over the process
•  Preparedness of each party to listen to the other parties
• An understanding by all that resolution is preferable to at least some of the potential options should the conflict continue

At Brisbane Mediations we wonder what was left out of the mix in respect of the Egyptian mediation process?

PEACE TALKS - Life is for Living, not for Litigating

Are you allowing conflict to dominate your life?

When the wheels fall off our relationships, of course we all need time to adjust and to grieve what might have been as well as the loss of the best aspects of what was.

However, as our parents always told us when we were kids (and most of us didn't have a clue what they meant until we were of 'more mature years'), "Life's very short".

A popular fridge magnet in keeping with this theme states, "Life's too short for bad wine".  How true!

In Queensland we are lucky to live in one of the World's idyllic locations - geographically, socially, culturally and politically - no matter what our beliefs or political bent. 

After separation, the best favour you can do yourself and your children (if you are lucky enough to have them) is to find a timely and user friendly way to resolve issues with your ex so that you can move closer to enjoying the lifestyle you all deserve.

Don't waste a second more than you have to on pointless and expensive escalation of conflict.  Try mediation - with or without your lawyer present.  There is so much to experience in life and no time to lose.

PEACE TALKS - Easter. What's it all about?

It's hard to believe that Easter's almost upon us when we have only just mastered writing 2013!

For so many Brisbane families Easter is a great time to hit the road, grab a wave, pitch a tent, savour the last of the warm weather and kiss summer goodbye.

For others - including those who have recently separated - there is the potential for this to be a time of sadness as past holiday fun is recalled, problems arise about finances and impossible issues have to be resolved such as, "Who's having the kids?"

Whether Easter for your family is about bunnies, chickens or even bilbies delivering impossibly large loads of chocolate eggs or about the Christian message of new life, it is a great opportunity for parents to give their children a message of unconditional love, generosity and hope.

What better way than through the example of reasonable communication and mutual trust?

Happy Easter from Brisbane Mediations!

Mediation Facilitates Ongoing Relationships

Mediation facilitates ongoing relationships

Mediation is less likely to harm on-going relationships than litigation – commercial arrangements between suppliers and customers; parenting relationships between separated parents with mutual parenting responsibilities to fulfil; or working relationships between co-workers / workers and managers who have clashed in the workplace.

In mediation, disputing parties enlist the assistance of a neutral person (the mediator) to help identify issues in dispute and explore options and alternatives to reach an agreement that will accommodate their respective needs.

With litigation, however, courts review opposing versions of disputes and provide a decision based on the evidence in each side’s affidavits or stories about the dispute and what they say in court. The decision almost always endorses one view of a case and rejects the other, costs often being awarded to the successful party, thereby punishing the other.

Litigation by its very nature highlights and accentuates differences, with barristers’ cross-examinations exposing weaknesses in the other side’s version of events. Mediation on the other hand, looks for common ground and strives for agreement.

Litigation encourages a winner take all approach. Mediation looks for a win/win outcome.

Considerable damage is inevitably done to ongoing personal relationships (for example, between parents or between beneficiaries under a will) when each person, in seeking to have their version accepted, tries to destroy the other’s case. Similarly, in the commercial field, time in court is highly unlikely to engender an ongoing relationship – particularly when at the end of the day one party is the victor and the other the vanquished, left to pick up the pieces.

When a result is imposed by a court, one party may leave the courtroom happy and the other disgruntled and bitter. The trial process has most likely eroded the previous relationship even more and increased the chance that these people will struggle indefinitely to relate into the future – personally or commercially, as the case may be.

At Mediation, however, seemingly warring parties often shake hands or communicate in a genial manner at the end of the day, a copy of the signed agreement in hand as they leave. A result has been reached by consensus rather than by being imposed by a stranger.

Dignity has been maintained and the vestiges of a relationship remain intact with a chance of enrichment in the future. In the commercial arena there is every chance that the parties will continue their mutually beneficial relationship, particularly where they have found a solution which ultimately accommodates the needs of both.

Mediation involves savings, not only in material costs, but also in costs to relationships.

Mediation in the Workplace saves Jobs and Money

How often do helping professionals deal with people in conflict within the workplace? Perhaps it it is “a personality clash”. Perhaps different interpretations of regulations or procedures. Or maybe there has been a serious breach of protocol by a boss and a grievance should issue, but the worker fears reprisals or impact on future plans for occupational advancement. How much time and money is lost because workers feel they are not being heard? How much stress related sick leave and how many WorkCover claims would not ensue if issues in the work place were dealt with in a timely and effective manner at an early stage?Brisbane Mediations’ mediators have experience in dealing with disputes of all kinds, including those which originate in the workplace. Even where there are multiple parties and stakeholders, we know we can make a difference, as we have done it on many occasions before. Large and small companies, government departments and organisations such as private and state schools and colleges as well as their employees have benefited from our interventions. We can work with support people who are not lawyers - for instance with psychologists who are supporting workers through conflictual situations in their employment. Your clients could benefit enormously from a collegial relationship between you and Brisbane Mediations. We help all involved save money and save face.

Mediation Across the Board

As indicated in our email address - resolve@brisbanemediations.com.au - we resolve conflict.

Conflict between, for example:

Separated Couples

Married, de-facto, casual, same sex, younger, older and all ages in between. About property, children and any other issues that might have arisen as a result of the breakdown of the relationship.

Extended Family Members

Over estate division and administration, care of elderly relatives, running family businesses and any matter likely to cause disagreement within a family.

Couples in Love

Prior to marriage or co-habitation. Over property, blending families or any disagreement which might occur within a relationships. Sometimes in the context of pre-nuptial or co-habitation agreement discussions.

Workers

Between bosses and staff, co-workers, workers and contractors, workers and customers/clients or between managers. These disputes have the potential to reduce productivity, raise insurance and litigation budgets and destroy lives.

Members of School Communities

Between teachers and students, parents, other teachers, principals or management. Between boards of directors and management and between parents and other parents or students and other students. Over everything from bullying claims to appeals against appointment of staff.

Businesses

Over interpretation of contracts and leases and all manner of issues that can develop in the course of running a business.

Denise Britton
Co-principal
Brisbane Mediations