So you've realised you're in a toxic relationship (Not all abuse is physical: 10 signs you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship); you've taken advice about the practical and emotional steps you need to take to prepare for leaving ("I'm leaving you....." Practical advice for getting out of a toxic relationship and "I'm leaving you...." How to survive the emotional rollercoaster of ending a relationship) but now the whole thing just seems really complicated and you're having second thoughts........
Things just got scary, right? No matter how well you know in your heart of hearts that this relationship is toxic and you need to get out, in the cold light of day, it's easy to be overwhelmed by the momentous decision you have taken or are about to take; get cold feet; and do a u-turn.
Yes it's damn scary and you shouldn't berate yourself for not being able to go ahead with it, or having second thoughts. You've just hopped on board the emotional rollercoaster remember, and sometimes you'll be thinking about the good times as well as the bad.
Acknowledge that not all parts of your relationship were toxic, and allow yourself to celebrate the parts that were good. Writing down the good and the and bits is a good way of focusing your attention when you start to feel you've been too hasty and maybe you should stay after all?
Note to self though - was your decision to stay triggered by your partner doing something nice, or demonstrating his or her best qualities? They've been controlling you for years remember, know how to manipulate your feelings.
And remember that just because you didn't manage to follow through on your original decision to leave doesn't mean you have to stay forever. Get that list out and be realistic about whether you should really stay. Ask yourself if this is really where you want to be in 5, 10, or 25 years?
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