Managing Grief and Loss in the Context of Family Breakdown

The rite of passage from a marriage or marital type relationship to being single and the mythical journey across the River Stix after death are similar in many ways. The five stages of grief in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s seminal 1969 work, “On Grief and Dying”, are still helpful in understanding the grief and loss associated with marital and family breakdown. “Denial” gives time to adjust to the initial shock. “Anger” is normal and can provide much needed energy for the growth process triggered by the relationship ending. “Bargaining” in one way or another is part of desperate last ditch attempts to reverse the process of loss. “Depression” occurs when the loss appears inevitable and sadness threatens to engulf the grieving person. “Acceptance” heralds the end of the journey and is accompanied by neither positive nor negative emotion, but rather by letting go and seeking an end to the pain. Grieving a loss is not a linear process and those who grieve will go in and out of the above five stages until they are ready to move forward. For those moving on after separation and divorce and those who have lost partners to death, there is hope of a new and better life - much like the believer’s afterlife. They will, however, have the best outcomes if during recovery they are supported and advised by professionals sensitive to their unique progression through the grieving process. Denise Britton B Soc Wk, M Litt (Psych), MAPsS, MAASW Partner Brisbane Mediations http://bit.ly/er6rqb