Advantages of Mediation

Sometimes I am asked to explain the advantages of mediation. There are many such advantages including the following:

• Mediation can be undertaken at anytime.You don’t have to wait for a court to be available to hear your dispute;

• Litigation is expensive whereas mediation can be cost effective. Court proceedings are often drawn out which increases the costs, whereas mediation can be organised and implemented quickly and usually completed in a day. Of course if the mediation is unsuccessful and the matter proceeds to trial then the cost of the mediation is an additional expense for the parties;

• The parties retain control of the outcome at all times,whereas in the court process you are handing control to a third party and asking him or her to make a decision(which ultimately neither party may be happy with).In mediation, the mediator has no authority to make decisions about the issues, however remains in control of the process;

• At mediation, a party is able to present his or her case and hear the other party’s case at an early stage of the matter and the process allows for commercial or lateral solutions which may not otherwise be available;

• One of the great benefits of mediation to participants is privacy. If the matter is resolved the parties can put the matter behind them and confidentiality can be preserved;

• Speed- the whole process can be organised and “done and dusted” quickly. Mediation is quicker then litigation and this helps the parties to avoid delay and uncertainty;

• Simplicity – the process is far simpler and more user friendly than a trial but of course this brings disadvantages with it as well, as the parties don’t always have the protections that a trial provides;

• Mediation, gives parties “their day in court”. Whilst they won’t be in Court in the usual sense, if they are listened to and have the opportunity to be heard then they can feel part of the process and satisfied that they have been heard;

• Litigation does not always provide a fair result whereas in mediation the mediator is not a Judge and can assist the parties in reaching a resolution that they are both able to live with;

• Mediation is not only cheaper and quicker than litigation but may also save in terms of emotional stress;

• Mediation can help to reduce long term tension and hostility between parties and in so doing improve communication between disputing parties which provides a benefit in terms of future co-operation, particularly where an ongoing relationship is necessary, such as where a separating couple has children;

• Involvement of the parties in the decision making produces a sense of ownership and desire to see any settlement implemented;

• Mediation is a reasonably loosely defined concept and unlike the judicial process is not governed by stringent rules as to how and what the mediator and parties can do. This flexibility is both an advantage and a disadvantage.

In a later blog, I will list some of the disadvantages of mediation,one of which is that agreements reached are often not subject to the scrutiny of the Courts and can at times be criticised for favouring the more powerful party.

Sometimes it is necessary for the parties to travel some distance down the litigation pathway before the matter is ready for Mediation.

There is of course a role for litigation,however mediation can offer very real advantages for parties in the right circumstances.

Mike Emerson Co-Principal Brisbane Mediations

Children and New Partners

When separated parents re-partner, their children react in a range of ways - some healthy and others destructive.

Each child's unique grief reaction and adjustment to their parents' separation should be considered before introducing them to even the idea of new partners.

After separation, it is most important to maintain open communication between children and parents. Whilst being as honest as possible with them, however, parents should not expect their children to instantly applaud or even accept a decision to re-partner, especially if the other parent sees the new partner as responsible for the end of the relationship. Similarly, children should not be expected to immediately treat a parent's new partner as a parent.

If expected to cope with such a major change prematurely, there is a risk that children will recoil from or even refuse a relationship with the re-parenting parent and that they will align themselves - sometimes exclusively - with the other parent.

The good news is that given time and sensitive support children can adapt to new parenting situations, including quite complex blended families in more than one household. The key to success is to introduce such changes at the child's pace, with support, and with sensitivity.

As children are treated with respect by new partners, trust can grow and relationships independent of either parent will hopefully develop. This process cannot be forced and relies on the maturity and patience of the re-parenting parent, step-parent and, of course, the other parent.

Denise Britton - Co-Principal, Brisbane Mediations

Lawyers and Family Mediation - Bridging the Divide

The Legalwise Family Law Conference was held in Vietnam recently and Brisbane Mediations principal, Mike Emerson presented the following paper titled Lawyers and Family Mediation - Bridging the Divide
http://bit.ly/rm1J8Y

The do's and don'ts of Mediation

The Do's and Don'ts of Mediation
http://bit.ly/m0EsAT

Advantages of Mediation

Sometimes I am asked to explain the advantages of mediation. There are many such advantages including the following:

• Mediation can be undertaken at anytime.You don’t have to wait for a court to be available to hear your dispute;

• Litigation is expensive whereas mediation can be cost effective. Court proceedings are often drawn out which increases the costs, whereas mediation can be organised and implemented quickly and usually completed in a day. Of course if the mediation is unsuccessful and the matter proceeds to trial then the cost of the mediation is an additional expense for the parties;

• The parties retain control of the outcome at all times,whereas in the court process you are handing control to a third party and asking him or her to make a decision(which ultimately neither party may be happy with).In mediation, the mediator has no authority to make decisions about the issues, however remains in control of the process;

• At mediation, a party is able to present his or her case and hear the other party’s case at an early stage of the matter and the process allows for commercial or lateral solutions which may not otherwise be available;

• One of the great benefits of mediation to participants is privacy. If the matter is resolved the parties can put the matter behind them and confidentiality can be preserved;

• Speed- the whole process can be organised and “done and dusted” quickly. Mediation is quicker then litigation and this helps the parties to avoid delay and uncertainty;

• Simplicity – the process is far simpler and more user friendly than a trial but of course this brings disadvantages with it as well, as the parties don’t always have the protections that a trial provides;

• Mediation, gives parties “their day in court”. Whilst they won’t be in Court in the usual sense, if they are listened to and have the opportunity to be heard then they can feel part of the process and satisfied that they have been heard;

• Litigation does not always provide a fair result whereas in mediation the mediator is not a Judge and can assist the parties in reaching a resolution that they are both able to live with;

• Mediation is not only cheaper and quicker than litigation but may also save in terms of emotional stress;

• Mediation can help to reduce long term tension and hostility between parties and in so doing improve communication between disputing parties which provides a benefit in terms of future co-operation, particularly where an ongoing relationship is necessary, such as where a separating couple has children;

• Involvement of the parties in the decision making produces a sense of ownership and desire to see any settlement implemented;

• Mediation is a reasonably loosely defined concept and unlike the judicial process is not governed by stringent rules as to how and what the mediator and parties can do. This flexibility is both an advantage and a disadvantage.

In a later blog, I will list some of the disadvantages of mediation,one of which is that agreements reached are often not subject to the scrutiny of the Courts and can at times be criticised for favouring the more powerful party.

Sometimes it is necessary for the parties to travel some distance down the litigation pathway before the matter is ready for Mediation.

There is of course a role for litigation,however mediation can offer very real advantages for parties in the right circumstances.

Mike Emerson Co-Principal Brisbane Mediations

The Tragedy of Darcey Freeman

The tragic case of Darcey Freeman – the little girl who was thrown off the Westgate Bridge on 29 January 2009 - shocked a nation of people who are no longer easy to shock. Darcey tugs at all of our hearts. We all know a potential “Darcey”. She was real. She deserved a chance at life. She was let down: - By someone she loved and trusted and who should have been there to protect her; by our legal systems; by our social networks; and in some way by each of us. News reports indicate that five out of six psychiatrists attributed Darcey’s needless death to factors other than mental illness and at least one of these five to probable pre-meditated spousal revenge. We are told that threats were made to her mother – that she would “pay” and that she would not see her children again. What can we do to prevent more vulnerable little children like Darcey from meeting such a horrible and unfathomable fate? It is vital to spread the message that there are ways of resolving disputes which allow everybody – the mother, the father and especially the children - to move on from family breakdown and to have full and meaningful lives. http://bit.ly/fwztoB

The Tragedy of Darcey Freeman

The tragic case of Darcey Freeman – the little girl who was thrown off the Westgate Bridge on 29 January 2009 - shocked a nation of people who are no longer easy to shock. Darcey tugs at all of our hearts. We all know a potential “Darcey”. She was real. She deserved a chance at life. She was let down: - By someone she loved and trusted and who should have been there to protect her; by our legal systems; by our social networks; and in some way by each of us. News reports indicate that five out of six psychiatrists attributed Darcey’s needless death to factors other than mental illness and at least one of these five to probable pre-meditated spousal revenge. We are told that threats were made to her mother – that she would “pay” and that she would not see her children again. What can we do to prevent more vulnerable little children like Darcey from meeting such a horrible and unfathomable fate? It is vital to spread the message that there are ways of resolving disputes which allow everybody – the mother, the father and especially the children - to move on from family breakdown and to have full and meaningful lives. http://bit.ly/fwztoB