Managing Grief and Loss in the context of Family Breakdown

The five stages of grief in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s seminal 1969 work, “On Grief and Dying”, are helpful in understanding the grief and loss associated with marital and family breakdown.

“Denial” gives time to adjust to the initial shock

“Anger” is normal and can provide much needed energy for the growth process triggered by the relationship ending

 “Bargaining” in one way or another is part of desperate last ditch attempts to reverse the process of loss

 “Depression” occurs when the loss appears inevitable and sadness threatens to engulf the grieving person

 “Acceptance” heralds the end of the journey and is accompanied by neither positive nor negative emotion, but rather by letting go and seeking an end to the pain.

The rite of passage from a marriage or marital type relationship to being single and the mythical journey across the River Stix after death are similar in many ways. Grieving a loss is not a linear process and those who grieve will go in and out of the above five stages until they are ready to move forward. For those moving on after separation and divorce and those who have lost partners to death, there is hope of a new and better life - much like the believer’s afterlife. They will, however, have the best outcomes if during recovery they are supported and advised by professionals’ sensitive to their unique progression through the grieving process.

Brisbane Mediations, July 2016 

The Flexibility of Mediation

One of the many advantages of mediation is it's flexibility. In fact it can be convened anywhere and anytime and without the inevitable delays of the court process.

Earlier this year, we conducted a mediation where one of the parties attended by ‘phone from Victoria. The usual process applied with each party participating in a one hour confidential intake followed by a four hour mediation, with capacity to extend.

The intake, whether by phone or in person, helps in establishing the necessary rapport and trust with the Mediator, which are often the basis for a successful outcome.

It is not uncommon at Brisbane Mediations for one or both parties to attend by phone or Skype. While this is usually essential in International matters, it also helps reduce costs where a party is interstate or some distance from Brisbane.

Interested in hearing more about the flexibility mediation could offer you?  Email resolve@brisbanemediations.com.au

8 REASONS TO CHOOSE MEDIATION

People often ask why they would consider using mediation to resolve conflict. The reasons are many and varied but generally include the following:

 
•It offers the opportunity for faster solutions;
•It is cheaper than litigation;
•You retain control rather than have others make decisions for you;
•It is less destructive of relationships;
•It is more informal than the court process;
•Parties can participate with or without their lawyers;
•It is confidential to the extent allowed by law;
•The process can be terminated or suspended at any time.

The point about being less destructive is particularly important where parties have to engage in an ongoing business relationship or separated parties have an ongoing responsibility to parent children.

Mike Emerson Co-principal Brisbane Mediations