Separation and divorce are so often referred to in negative terms - a "failed marriage", betrayal of trust", "loss of the dream", "a broken family".
How much less often do we talk of learning from a relationship and separation experience, having another chance, the benefits of the experience to new relationships, or being freed to pursue more personal goals? It can and often does transpire that in time a relationship breakdown is viewed positively - by not just one but by both parties.
"That's all very well for some", you might say. "But what about the unfaithfulness, the lies, the breach of trust? What about my broken heart, the years wasted, the dreadful pain of rejection?"
Each separation experience is unique. Each separation experience is personal. Most are painful. Most trigger a grief process of variable duration and intensity and a recovery and adjustment period which is equally unpredictable in nature.
Separation,
How well separated adults recover and "move on", to use a colloquialism, is dependent on a wide range of factors: personality, the capacity to make a positive out of a negative, level of social and emotional support, and the quality and orientation of advice - to name a few.
The dismantling of an intimate relationship represents a loss and as with other grief experiences, can be likened to travelling through a tunnel. It is a process and the only way out is to go through it. It is helpful to keep a look out for that tiny glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel and continue to do whatever brings it closer. The journey is about recovery from the loss. The destination is a brighter, happier and more enlightened life experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment