Interesting article in the December 2011 issue of Management today about Stephen Covey's latest book; The 3rd Alternative:Solving Life's Most Difficult Problems, where the American management guru reiterates the idea that conflicts do not need to be resolved via concessions but rather in ways that benefit both sides.
Covey is recorded as talking of "synergising" the normal two-sided nature of almost all conflict,that is, my way and your way-the first and second alternatives-and going on to find a higher and better way to resolve the conflict, hence a third alternative.
He is said to comment that "In certain tightly competitive situations, like an auto race, people 'lose' " but that"life is not a race and if you want to build a great family or marriage or friendship or even a great company, it makes no sense to think in terms of winning and losing."
As Dowling* notes, the mutual gains approach was earlier stated in the best selling book Getting to Yes by Fisher and Ury,first published in 1981 where the idea was propounded that the focus in negotiations should be on interests, not positions.
Covey's latest offering sounds like an interesting read.He is now in his 80th year and apparently wants The 3rd Alternative to be the book he is remembered for; a big statement considering the success of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.He is still searching however as is clear from his comment to Management Today that "those of us who think we've arrived at the "ultimate meaning" of anything are intellectually dead."
* Simon Dowling,chief executive officer of CMA Learning Group Ltd,a Melbourne based consultancy in negotiation, mediation and conflict management.
Mike Emerson
Co-Principal Brisbane Mediations
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