Have you heard of the movie, "The Green Prince"? I hadn't until friends invited us to a Saturday showing at the Schonell Theatre yesterday.
The film is a scripted documentary. The main "characters" are Palestinian, Mosab Hassan Yousef and Israeli, Gonen. Mosab is the eldest and most dutiful son of a senior and influential figure in the zealously anti-Israeli Hamas. Gonen, on the other hand, is an Israeli secret service operative in the ruthless anti-Palestinian Shin Bet, with a background including psychology.
Under the carefully manipulative influence of Gonen, Mosab is transformed. At 17 he is angry and hell bent on avenging what he perceives to be the unjust and cruel targeting and repetitive jailing of his much loved and respected father by Israeli forces. A stint in prison, however, showed him first hand how Hamas members in prison committed greater atrocities on their own with less justification in his view than the Israelis. Over time he came to see the basis of Hamas's terror tactics in Israel as flawed and even his father as one-eyed and not amenable to reason.
Not only did Mosab become a highly prized informant for the Israelis by virtue of his close association with his father as his trusted advisor and assistant, but he and Gonen developed a relationship based on genuine trust and affection - to the extent that they demonstrated extreme loyalty towards each other in the face of great risk of harm or even death at the hands of zealously single-minded individuals in both Shin Bet and Hamas.
Was Mosab a selfish person who worked for the Israelis to save his own skin or did he undergo a true moral awakening in the face of the deaths of so many Israeli citizens at the hands of suicide bombings and other violent tactics orchestrated by Hamas?
How is it he was able to betray (according to his upbringing and his nationality) his father and his kinsmen? Was it in fact betrayal or did he believe that if he could help stop the violence perpetrated by Hamas then there might be a better world for Israeli and Palestinian alike?
What about Gonen? Did he really connect with Mosab at a human level, or was Mosab no more than a much valued prize pawn in the fight against Hamas?
Talk about 50 shades of grey: I'm thinking that in this situation 50 might be an underestimation!
Are there any similarities or learnings here for us to take into dispute resolution for separating couples, disputing workers, extended families in crisis?
Methinks there is always more than one story to hear and that there are also many ways to view each story. When in doubt, don't judge. Listen, listen and keep listening and potential solutions will usually emerge under the guidance of a skilled and sensitive mediator.
Showing posts with label mediators. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mediators. Show all posts
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
lawyers and Mediation
One of the hallmarks of the success of Brisbane Mediations has been our ready acceptance of lawyers and their involvement in our process.
Whilst we offer mediations without lawyers, we positively encourage parties to bring their lawyers should they wish. This is in marked contrast to some other recognised public mediation providers and relationship centres where lawyers are not only actively discouraged, but excluded from the process.
We recognize that mediation is not a substitute for independent legal advice.
Lawyers can help their clients understand the law, make informed agreements and write up the final agreement. However, their role extends well beyond that.
Just as mediation has grown in acceptance as a worthwhile method of dispute resolution, so too have lawyers adapted their skills in many instances so as to better represent their clients in mediation and assist them to resolve their disputes at an early stage.
Rather than feeling threatened by mediation, lawyers are increasingly adapting to the new legal culture and finding a role for themselves in the dispute resolution process.
Furthermore, many lawyers entrust their clients to our processes with confidence in our neutrality and independence, knowing that we will encourage them to contact and consult with their lawyers as appropriate at any stage of the process.
Furthermore the lawyers know that if agreement is reached in principle, then we will forward the terms of the agreement to the lawyers or invite the clients to do so. Lawyers can then formalize the terms in consent orders and ensure that the agreement reached is both understood by the parties and genuinely reflects their wishes before they sign off on the agreed terms.
Involved lawyers realise that satisfied clients are their best marketing tools and lead in many cases to further referrals to the lawyer.
We would not hesitate to say that the involvement of lawyers in our process and their acceptance of our service has been an important aid to the establishment of our business.
Mike Emerson Co-Principal Brisbane Mediations
Whilst we offer mediations without lawyers, we positively encourage parties to bring their lawyers should they wish. This is in marked contrast to some other recognised public mediation providers and relationship centres where lawyers are not only actively discouraged, but excluded from the process.
We recognize that mediation is not a substitute for independent legal advice.
Lawyers can help their clients understand the law, make informed agreements and write up the final agreement. However, their role extends well beyond that.
Just as mediation has grown in acceptance as a worthwhile method of dispute resolution, so too have lawyers adapted their skills in many instances so as to better represent their clients in mediation and assist them to resolve their disputes at an early stage.
Rather than feeling threatened by mediation, lawyers are increasingly adapting to the new legal culture and finding a role for themselves in the dispute resolution process.
Furthermore, many lawyers entrust their clients to our processes with confidence in our neutrality and independence, knowing that we will encourage them to contact and consult with their lawyers as appropriate at any stage of the process.
Furthermore the lawyers know that if agreement is reached in principle, then we will forward the terms of the agreement to the lawyers or invite the clients to do so. Lawyers can then formalize the terms in consent orders and ensure that the agreement reached is both understood by the parties and genuinely reflects their wishes before they sign off on the agreed terms.
Involved lawyers realise that satisfied clients are their best marketing tools and lead in many cases to further referrals to the lawyer.
We would not hesitate to say that the involvement of lawyers in our process and their acceptance of our service has been an important aid to the establishment of our business.
Mike Emerson Co-Principal Brisbane Mediations
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Family Mediation - One Size Doesn't Fit All
When there is conflict between separated couples over parenting and/or property, Mediation is a means of dispute resolution which can be adapted to the needs of the mediating parties and the nature of their dispute.
Sometimes, it is to the advantage of all concerned for a mediation to be conducted and completed over the course of one day, a comprehensive agreement being signed that same day.
In other cases because of: the personalities of the parties, the stage they have reached in respect of their emotional separation, the complexities of their dispute or the availability of the parties or their legal advisers, mediation might be best conducted over a period of time in smaller chunks.
The latter approach allows for parties struggling to adjust to their separation to deal with and adapt to changes in their lives one step at a time. For some, to attempt to make overarching decisions about financial or children's matters once and for all at their first mediation session is simply overwhelming and too daunting.
Time to consider and adapt is something that should never be denied to mediating parties if this is what they believe they need.
Most experienced mediators sensitive to their clients' needs know that some people need to discuss the options on the table with trusted advisers before signing off on an agreement.
Others like to trial the success of new arrangements (particularly in respect of children) before reviewing them and taking a further step. This is especially the case in matters involving very young children whose routines will be significantly altered by the proposed agreement.
Similarly, some parties will want their mediator to give them advice on what is best for their children or what is likely to happen should they not agree at mediation and go to court instead. Others want a mediator to only use their mediation skills to effect a resolution and would prefer to seek counsel from their own advisers.
Some want their children's views ascertained by a qualified child consultant who informs the mediation. Others see this as unduly stressful for their children.
If a mediation service has a "one size fits all" approach to mediation, then there is reason for concern. Mediation is about the needs of the parties, not those of the mediator.
Look for suitably qualified, experienced and flexible mediators willing to tailor their processes to the needs of their clients. Remember the old adage, "If all the workman has in his toolkit is a hammer, then every job he does will require a nail."
Denise Britton
Co-Principal and Psychologist
Brisbane Mediations
Sometimes, it is to the advantage of all concerned for a mediation to be conducted and completed over the course of one day, a comprehensive agreement being signed that same day.
In other cases because of: the personalities of the parties, the stage they have reached in respect of their emotional separation, the complexities of their dispute or the availability of the parties or their legal advisers, mediation might be best conducted over a period of time in smaller chunks.
The latter approach allows for parties struggling to adjust to their separation to deal with and adapt to changes in their lives one step at a time. For some, to attempt to make overarching decisions about financial or children's matters once and for all at their first mediation session is simply overwhelming and too daunting.
Time to consider and adapt is something that should never be denied to mediating parties if this is what they believe they need.
Most experienced mediators sensitive to their clients' needs know that some people need to discuss the options on the table with trusted advisers before signing off on an agreement.
Others like to trial the success of new arrangements (particularly in respect of children) before reviewing them and taking a further step. This is especially the case in matters involving very young children whose routines will be significantly altered by the proposed agreement.
Similarly, some parties will want their mediator to give them advice on what is best for their children or what is likely to happen should they not agree at mediation and go to court instead. Others want a mediator to only use their mediation skills to effect a resolution and would prefer to seek counsel from their own advisers.
Some want their children's views ascertained by a qualified child consultant who informs the mediation. Others see this as unduly stressful for their children.
If a mediation service has a "one size fits all" approach to mediation, then there is reason for concern. Mediation is about the needs of the parties, not those of the mediator.
Look for suitably qualified, experienced and flexible mediators willing to tailor their processes to the needs of their clients. Remember the old adage, "If all the workman has in his toolkit is a hammer, then every job he does will require a nail."
Denise Britton
Co-Principal and Psychologist
Brisbane Mediations
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