Mike's Christmas Musings: Another Take on Rudolph

What is that famous Albert Einstein quote? :-

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing that it is stupid.”

We all have different gifts and abilities to contribute. We all also have aspects that, were a light to be shone on them, would make us look lacking or silly.

“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” was a prime example. Poor old Rudolph was known for his “very shiny nose”. It was clearly an embarrassment as the other reindeer saw him as an object of derision and would laugh at him and call him names.

Whether or not Rudolph saw it that way, he was a victim of bullying at the hands of the other reindeer, and typical of bullying victims, he was excluded from joining in any reindeer games.

Rudolph was sorely in need of a break and it was left to good old Santa Claus to recognise his unique qualities and to give him the opportunity to show his skills in guiding Santa’s sleigh in his long trek from the North Pole.

Santa’s actions enabled the other reindeer to see Rudolph in a new light and suddenly, rather than the outcast, he was seen as the very able reindeer he was and quickly became the subject of much affection, some might even say a hero, as he pursued his worthwhile task and revelled in his new role.

Every day we meet people who seem downcast and lacking when judged by our often shallow human standards. Like Rudolph, all they often need is a break and the opportunity to display their unique talents and abilities.

Christmas is a time to recognise and unleash the good in others.

Like Rudolph, we all have the potential to be heroes as we navigate life’s journey.

Happy Christmas Rudolph, Happy Christmas Everyone.

(By the way, our capable panellists at Brisbane Mediations can assist with bullying issues.)

Birdman - A clever portrayal of psychosis, black humour injected with fantasy, or an attempt to demonstrate the psychological fragility of actors in general?

I saw Birdman on the weekend. I'd like to see it again now that I know it was up for an award in the Comedy or Musical section at the Golden Globes.  I didn't realise it was either, although there were definitely a lot of quite funny bits (I won't spoil it for you by detailing them).


To me, a Psychologist and Mediator, the lead role of Riggan Thomson, brilliantly played by Michael Keaton, is that of a late middle aged actor feeling washed up and surrendering, at times in dramatic style, to his alter ego Birdman - a character of his from a successful series of science fiction/super hero type films.


Riggan presents as being in the grip of psychotic visual and auditory hallucinations, delusions of grandeur and paranoid ideation and demonstrates an obvious cognitive blurring of the line between reality and fantasy.


At least, he did until the last scene .....


What do others think?


Could any of the many "interesting" characters in this movie have been helped by timely mediation or therapeutic counselling?


By the way, I have just discovered that congratulations are in order for Michael Keaton for winning "Best Actor in a Comedy" at the Golden Globes.

Perceptions and Stories

Eric and Fran are in conflict.

They've always had a hard time working together, but lately the frustration and tension has spilled over to colleagues and family members on each side.

Fran catches you first, her story emerging in messy, manic detail. Eric, she claims, is acting unreasonably. He is incompetent and he is being childish.You know you are only hearing Fran's side of things, but still, you have a hard time imagining how Eric could explain his behaviour. It seems inexcusable, and you tell Fran she is right to be so upset.

Eric calls you later that day. He says he doesn't want to speak ill of Fran, but demands that you hear his version of what happened. You listen, as Eric describes what "really happened, " and you soon find yourself confused. Eric, it seems, is the real victim here. You try to resist the urge to take Eric's side, but give in: "you are right to be so upset, you tell him.

Moments later, you get an email from a mutual friend, who asks if you know anything about what is going on between Eric and Fran. " I've spoken to both of them," you write, and then realize that you simply haven't figured out how to reconcile what you've heard so far. You know both Fran and Eric well enough to know that neither is lying, or even intentionally shading the truth.And yet their descriptions of the dispute could not be more different.

The Brain as a Story-Based System

What's going on? Artificial intelligence researcher Roger Schank puts it well: "Human memory is story-based." Far from simply reflecting or recording reality, our minds engage in a complex interplay between what we perceive and what we already know, unconsciously adding and deleting information in the service of the story. Disputes occur when the stories we tell about what's happening-who's right,what's fair, who's to blame-diverge.Each side retreats to their own narrative which describes their experience of "reality," and the dispute intensifies.

Extracted from Heen & Stone" Perceptions and Stories"; The Negotiator's Fieldbook at p 343.

Mediation a good option for veteran emergency services workers

In counselling emergency service workers I have found many of the veterans of long careers feel caught in a time warp arising from massive changes in their fields over the past fifteen to twenty years.

It is common for these workers to lament times gone by when their service was run at a neighbourhood level - from the raising of funds to the dispatching of crews. They often recall feeling more supported by management who had more realistic expectations than they feel exist today.

Whilst skill levels, response times and outcomes may have improved, members of these services often report that they used to feel closer to their communities, more valued and more fulfilled in their work "in the old days" than they do now. Standards and practices have moved forward but with these changes has come inevitable depersonalization and workers often feel like little cogs in a big impersonal wheel.

The workers often blame "management" and a common cry is, "They didn't support me when I needed it and now I am on my own". Mediation before the situation becomes so critical could be the answer for some of these workers.

For others, counselling will be more effective. I often encourage these workers to liken their career experience to a successful relationship that has been mutually rewarding for a long time, but may have run its course. I help them consider all available options and look at other ways they might be able to utilise their skills and experience - perhaps even outside emergency services.

Denise Britton

The Counsellor's Role in Family Law Disputes

Brisbane Mediations: http://bit.ly/kinWBP

Mediation a good option for veteran emergency services workers

In counselling emergency service workers I have found many of the veterans of long careers feel caught in a time warp arising from massive changes in their fields over the past fifteen to twenty years.

It is common for these workers to lament times gone by when their service was run at a neighbourhood level - from the raising of funds to the dispatching of crews. They often recall feeling more supported by management who had more realistic expectations than they feel exist today.

Whilst skill levels, response times and outcomes may have improved, members of these services often report that they used to feel closer to their communities, more valued and more fulfilled in their work "in the old days" than they do now. Standards and practices have moved forward but with these changes has come inevitable depersonalization and workers often feel like little cogs in a big impersonal wheel.

The workers often blame "management" and a common cry is, "They didn't support me when I needed it and now I am on my own". Mediation before the situation becomes so critical could be the answer for some of these workers.

For others, counselling will be more effective. I often encourage these workers to liken their career experience to a successful relationship that has been mutually rewarding for a long time, but may have run its course. I help them consider all available options and look at other ways they might be able to utilise their skills and experience - perhaps even outside emergency services.

Denise Britton