Problems in Parentsville : Sibling Rivalry

Do your kids seem to battle with one another from the moment they wake until they go to sleep again in the evening? Is the little voice inside your head screaming "Why can’t they just get along?!!!!"

Here are our top 5 tips for keeping sibling rivalry in check:-

1. Ditch the labels – the smart one, the wild one, the quiet one – you’re creating competition between siblings by using these labels. So stop.

2. Make time for each of them – kids fight to get attention, so give them each 10 minutes of positive one-on-one every day.

3. Stay out of it – when conflict kicks off, give them a chance to work it out on their own. If this doesn’t work, see tip 4!

4. Guide them in the right direction – demonstrate positive ways to resolve conflict, like taking time out, or letting the other person make their point. Make it clear everyone gets a turn to speak in this house

5. Step in – if things are escalating, it might be time to help them reach an agreement. Make it clear that actions have consequences –for example, you’re going to take the game away if they can’t take it in turns to play. Remember to follow through, otherwise they won’t learn for next time.

Look out for more "Problems in Parentsville"  - and how to solve them - on the blog all of this week. 

PEACE TALKS - What would Mum and Dad say if they knew you were fighting over their estate?

What would Mum and Dad say if they knew you were fighting over their hard earned property, super and other assets?

How often have we all heard that grief and loss bring out the best and the worst in people?  It really is true isn't it?  Sadly, when we lose significant people in our lives a  chain reaction of free flowing emotions tends to start and all sorts of unresolved issues from the past can surface, including old sibling rivalry - feelings about unfair treatment by parents, unfair advantages to our brothers and sisters, things that weren't said and should have been or were said and shouldn't have been.

When Mum and Dad are no longer around to keep the family on some sort of an even keel or to even give their version of events, there is the potential for these issues to get right out of hand - especially if, for one reason or another, Mum and Dad decided that their estate should not be divided equally.

There are indeed laws about sorting out perceived inequities in respect of who is left what, and the courts are there to help as a last resort.

As mediators skilled in dealing with all types of interpersonal disputes, though, we know that "blood is thicker than water" in most cases.  A discussion around a table under the guidance of a skilled mediator BEFORE the dispute escalates, has the best chance of ensuring the estate is not depleted through legal costs and of achieving a result everyone can live with and which allows siblings to continue on as a family - something every parent would want.

How would you feel if your kids ended up not talking to each other and trying to forget they were even related, just because you were prudent enough to have something to leave them? Most in those circumstances would rather spend it all before they went. 

Give our expert and sensitive mediators the opportunity to help you sort your estate issues in a way which allows you to save money, save face and save relationships!

PEACE TALKS