The Ostrich Effect

In a job you hate, but won’t pursue that dream career because you think you’re not good enough? In a relationship that brings you no joy whatsoever, but frightened of being lonely?

You’re suffering from The Ostrich Effect.

We are all guilty of burying our heads in the sand from time to time, and it’s usually because we are trying to avoid the negative feelings we know are going to come with dealing with a problem.

What we don’t often realise is that The Ostrich Effect is affecting every part of our lives. So how do we get out heads out of the sand?

The first step is to identify what it is that’s holding you back. Ask yourself these 3 questions:

·      What is most important for me?

·      What is stopping me from going for it?

·      What am I doing instead of pursuing what is important to me?

Fear is key to all of this. Find out what it is you’re afraid of, then force yourself to face it. Easier said than done, but believe us, press yourself to deal with what you foolishly fear, and you’ll soon be wondering what you were afraid of in the first place.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Change is an inevitable part of life, but it can be difficult to deal with because of our tendency to resist it. It is natural to want things to remain just the way they are. Change and stress go hand in hand, so here are some handy hints to have up your sleeve when change comes knocking at your door……

Avoid the ostrich effect – recognise that change is taking place. It may sound basic, but acknowledging the fact that change is happening is the first step in dealing with it. So, head out of the sand and say it out loud – “things are changing”.

Stop running for the hills – some people thrive on new challenges and situations, while others want life to stay exactly as it is. Face your fear by sharing it with another person. Say it out loud “I’m afraid of this”.

Keep talking – you’ve acknowledged its happening, you’ve shared the fact it scares the hell out of you. What next? Keep talking. Communicating is key to dealing with change because it helos you see things from another perspective and forces you to explore all your options.

Take stock – it’s easy to think “I can’t do this” but step back, take a look around and see all the resources you have at your disposal. Friends, family, finances, skills – what resources do you have that can get you through this? It might be as simple as talking things over with friends. Or paying for professional therapy.

None of this makes change easy, but it does make it easier to navigate. Good luck with your journey. See you on the other side.

3 Tips to De-stress your weekend

Tip 1 - Cut those chores – avoid chores taking over your weekend by setting aside one 2-3 hour block for running errands. Consider whether there are things you can outsource or ignore  - like getting your groceries delivered, hiring an ironing firm, or forgetting about cleaning rooms you don’t use on a daily basis.

Tip 2 - Switch off – after a busy week, veg-ing out in front of the TV can seem like just what you need, but you’ll get more enjoyment and reduce your stress levels from doing something fun with your other half or family. How about a quick game of backyard cricket? Or a game of cards? Don’t look at work emails again until Monday morning, and stay off the internet. Who needs to surf the web when there are real humans around to talk to?

Tip 3 - Switch your Sunday night routine – so many people ruin their Sunday nights by spending them dreading the week ahead. Do something different this Sunday evening – catch up with friends, head out for dinner, or sign up for that Sunday night dance class.

Now you're in the know, you can look forward to a stress-free weekend. Enjoy!

Thinking of taking a rain-check? Don't

Sometimes life just gets in the way of the things you actually want to do, and were looking forward to earlier in the week until your schedule spiralled out of control. After a busy start to the week, its tempting to cancel those drinks with friends you arranged for this evening, or make an excuse not to attend a family gathering at the weekend. You’ve got so many things to do between now and Friday, and you’re going to need the weekend to get caught up and ready for next week, right?

Wrong. The answering is not cancelling social engagements, it’s keeping them – and attending them, even when it’s the last thing you feel like doing.

Staying connected to others makes you feel like part of the world, rather than someone walking around with the weight of it on their shoulders.

Even simple things like chatting to the people waiting in line at the coffee kiosk of a morning, or taking two minutes to ask a work colleague how their day is going can get you away from the feelings of lonlieness that being stressed can trigger in all of us. And never underestimate the feel good hormones that spending time with people who are important to you can release. So next time you’re thinking of taking a rain-check, stop and think about the positive benefits you'll gain from keeping your plans in place.